My recent obsession with Shark Week re-runs has me aching to get back to an ocean. Even now, sitting on couch and watching SVU, I’m day dreaming about waves washing over me. I can feel the cool water lap against me and the salt stick to my skin. Heaven.
Feeling a little distant from my roots, and desperately needing some nourishment, I channeled my SoCal self and went to work making a quinoa salad and black bean burgers.
*I have zero photos of the process because all photo-taking devices were un-charged.
For the Quinoa Salad
I first sautéed half an onion and a clove of garlic in some oil. Add a little bit of salt and pepper. Then add a cup of quinoa and stir to toast slightly before adding 2 cups of water. Add 1/4 cup of dried cherries to the water. They’ll get plump and it’ll sweeten the dish. Simmer for fifteen minutes and when the water has boiled away, add half of a chopped green pepper and a little fresh lime juice.
Tasty and healthy. When ready to serve, add some avocado and tomatoes. Or some sliced almonds for a yummy crunch!
For the black bean burgers:
Add a couple tablespoons of sauteed, diced mushrooms, a can of black beans, half of a chopped green pepper, a clove of garlic, and half a cup of bread crumbs into a blender or food processor. I also added a tablespoon of olive oil, salt, pepper, cumin, and coriander. Coarsely puree the mixture. The mix will be very wet, so the best way to to form the patties is to line a small tupperware with plastic wrap and then fill it with the mixture. Wrap up the patties and then pop them in the freezer to set up and cook when you want them. Delicious and protein packed.
Again, my apologies for the lack of food photos. Everything was eaten too fast.
And so we have entered tech rehearsals for How to Succeed. After a long hiatus, I was expecting to be frazzled and expecting to have a harder time finding the flow of the show. Surprisingly, this has been easy breezy. I’m a little more disorganized than usual, but I think that has only helped me to be a little more spontaneous, calm, and adaptable. We’ve got a great show and so far, it’s been melt-down free.
Except for once. For five minutes. Last night. And here’s where I might start to spiral. Like I said, tech has been great, but when we started our dry tech on Saturday and I opened my kit, I saw the note. A note from him that glares back at me and asks, “Why haven’t you taken me down yet? Take me down, throw me away…or at least hide me in a different box. Why do you leave me here?” And for a moment on Saturday (okay a few moments) I felt a lump in my throat and a wave of melancholy. On our ride home, I talked to Geoff about it.
“Why?” I asked, frustrated.
“Because you hope,” he said. Damn. He’s right. I do hope. For what, I’m not sure. Do I hope that we’ll move on and be fine someday? Yes, of course. Do I hope for a reconciled relationship? I’m not sure…maybe. I hope for answers and explanations. But do I really think leaving a note taped to my kit will give me those things? Oh, fuck if I know.
Geoff continued (and Geoff, forgive the paraphrase), “You’re holding on because you hope. You have to overanalyze and talk about it because, still, anything he says will put you into a downward spiral.”
Yep. That’s true. Yesterday in the middle of act two, after an unfortunate glance towards a friend’s email inbox, I realized how my friends are still connected to this person and there’s not one damn thing I can do about it. I have to sit and say nothing, while a person who destroyed me emotionally connects with the people I know and love. I have to sit and say nothing because it isn’t my place to ruin him for them. I have to accept that my friends will be his friends no matter what happened…and honestly, that’s really harsh. And devastating. And yeah, I stifled tears through act two (though I called it like a champ, thanks very much) because it hurts so much. And sucks…majorly.
Ok, I’ll shut up about my downward spiral and keep California Dreaming to get through. Also…I’ll kick major ass with this show.